Lessons on the Life and Ministry of Jesus Christ and His Apostles
Lesson No. Thirty-Nine

The Divinely Appointed Roles of Husband and Father, Wife and Mother

General Conference is a wonderful privilege and blessing – When Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22), it must be remembered that Paul was writing in accordance with the social customs of the time. 

General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be held this weekend, and we will learn what the Lord wants His living prophets and apostles to teach us.  I am confident that they will continue to emphasize that “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children” (The Family – A Proclamation to the World).  They will emphasize the divinely appointed roles of husbands and fathers; wives and mothers as set forth in that Proclamation.

The divinely appointed role of husband and father – “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families” (Ibid).  By divine appointment husbands and fathers hold the priesthood.  “Ultimately, all keys of the priesthood are held by the Lord Jesus Christ, whose priesthood it is.  He is the one who determines what keys are delegated to mortals and how those keys will be used” (Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign, May 2014).

Through the Prophet Joseph Smith the Lord set forth how men are to use His priesthood:  “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;  By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile” (D&C 121:41-42).

The divinely appointed role of wife and mother – By divine design “Mother are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (The Family – A Proclamation to the World). President David O. McKay wrote about the importance of mothers:

“Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life.  The mother’s image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child’s mind.  It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world….The ability and willingness properly to rear children…make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world….She who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters…deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of God” (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, p. 452-54).

The Lord considers husband and father, wife and mother as equal partners – “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.  Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation” (The Family – A Proclamation to the World).   

These divinely appointed roles are equal in the sight of God, and they should be equal in our sight and how we treat each other.  Certainly, they are complimentary.  A father and a mother can do things together that can never be done separately; they can have a family both in this life and the next.

Perhaps the most distinctive doctrine of the restored Church of Jesus Christ emphasizes the role of mothers and fathers in the resurrection.  The eternal nature of the family unit, when that unit is bound together by priesthood ordinances and temple covenants, guarantees to faithful parents the privileges, opportunities, and joys of parenthood with their children in a relationship that lasts eternally.

The greatest blessings of the priesthood and the temple are shared equally between husband and wife – Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “when endowed, both men and women are given power in the priesthood.”  In the celestial order of heaven “a woman shares with a man the blessings of the priesthood.”  They minister together, “seeing and understanding alike, and cooperating to the full in the government of their family kingdom” (James E. Talmage, YW Journal, October 1914).