Lessons on Missionary Service
Lesson No. Fifteen

Quiet Dignity

Introduction – One of the Christ-like virtues set forth in D&C 4:6 is temperance.  The dictionary defines temperance as “moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc.; self-control.”  In the Missionary White Handbook that all missionaries carried with them during our mission was a statement on p. 13.  It said, “Conducting yourself with quiet dignity (temperance) will open doors for teaching the gospel” (emphasis and synonym added).  I know this to be true, and I also know that good missionaries come to learn and rely on this principle.

A sweet missionary memory of quiet dignity – When new missionaries arrived in the Kentucky Louisville Mission we followed the same pattern:  Meet them at the airport, then to the mission office for paper work, pictures, and a short interview before going to the mission home for dinner. Over the years a special experience with a new missionary has stayed with me as a sweet memory. 

During his initial interview Elder B. was quiet and did not seem excited about his mission.  I thought about trying to pump him up, but the Spirit prompted me to only tell him that I was glad to be his mission president, and to give him a big hug.  He was assigned to Cincinnati Ohio.

Two weeks later we spoke in the ward where Elder B. had been assigned.  The missionaries spoke briefly.  Elder B. started by saying that he wanted to share his favorite scripture.  Then he quoted:  “And my father dwelt in a tent” (1 Nephi 2:15).  The congregation giggled, but he remained dignified.  He explained that his father’s work required frequent moves, and rather than leave his family they often lived in a tent, and he knew how much love there could be in a tent.

He explained that it was a sacrifice for his family to send him on a mission, and even though he was homesick he was committed to be a good missionary just as his family expected.  Elder B.’s quiet dignity touched the members, and as they got to know him they became comfortable with having him met their friends.  (Members are friendly with missionaries who didn’t have quiet dignity and will invite them to their homes, but they don’t refer their friends for gospel discussions)

I watched Elder B. closely for the remainder of our mission.  He was an excellent missionary with quiet dignity.  In our last interview I noticed that his suit was well worn, I asked him about it.  He said it was the second mission for that suit as his father had used it on his mission.  We were about the same size and I proposed that we trade suits.  He objected but I insisted telling him if I had his suit it would be a sweet reminder of a wonderful missionary.  We traded then and there.

Testimony – Twenty years after our mission to Kentucky we returned to preside over the Louisville Temple.  One day a sister from Shelbyville Kentucky asked me about Elder B.  She told me that Elder B. had shared this experience, and she had remembered it for those many years.

As we spoke it was clear that Elder B.’s quiet dignity had opened her heart which was then touched by the Holy Spirit and she did not forget how she felt.  A missionary with quiet dignity not only opens doors for teaching the gospel, but such a missionary opens hearts that remember.